The Season Where I Have to Remind Myself to Schedule Time With Friends

Lately, I’ve been in a season where I have to remind myself to schedule time with friends — and honestly, that realization hit me harder than I expected. I’ve never been the person who remembers birthdays or sends cute “thinking of you” cards in the mail. I’m the friend who loves deeply, shows up when it matters, and means it when I say, “We should get together soon”… but then, life happens.

The truth is, my days are full. Not in a glamorous way — in a juggling-all-the-things, trying-not-to-forget-the-laundry-in-the-washer kind of way. Between work, bedtime routines, and keeping the house from turning into a toy explosion, my brain is constantly running. And somewhere along the way, that mental overload pushed friendship out of the day-to-day rhythm and into the “when I have time” category — which, let’s be honest, never really happens.

I catch myself missing people I haven’t actually talked to in months. I’ll think about a friend while driving or folding laundry, make a mental note to reach out, and then… forget by the time I find my phone. The weeks blend together, and before I know it, it’s been three months since we said “let’s get dinner soon.”

And I hate that. Because I know how much better I feel when I do see my friends. When I laugh about something ridiculous, when we swap stories that remind me I’m not the only one who feels stretched thin, when I can be fully myself — not Mom, not the boss, not the one keeping it all together — just me.

So lately, I’ve been trying something new: I treat friendship like something worth scheduling. Because it is. And maybe it feels strange to have to remind myself to make space for it, but honestly, that little reminder might just be what keeps me connected in this busy, beautiful, chaotic season of life.

When “Let’s Get Together Soon” Becomes the Default

I can’t even count how many times I’ve said those words — “We should get together soon!” They roll off my tongue so easily, and I mean them every single time. But lately, I’ve realized they’ve become more of a placeholder than a plan. It’s the mom-version of a pinky promise we fully intend to keep… until someone gets sick, there’s a late meeting, or we’re just too tired to put on real pants and leave the house.

The truth is, adult friendships are hard. Not because we don’t care, but because we care about so many things. Work deadlines, doctor appointments, school projects, laundry piles, family time — everything demands a piece of us. And by the end of the day, when there’s finally a sliver of quiet, the thought of planning one more thing feels exhausting. So we tell ourselves, “Maybe next week,” and then next week turns into next month.

I’ve had entire text threads with friends that are basically just us apologizing for not responding sooner.

“Sorry, I meant to text back days ago!”
“No worries, I totally forgot too!”
“We really do need to catch up soon.”

And then… radio silence. Not because we don’t love each other, but because we’re both drowning in the same sea of responsibilities.

That’s why I’ve started treating friendship like something that needs a place on my calendar. I literally add reminders to text certain friends or block out an evening for a dinner or phone call. It feels a little ridiculous at first — like, who has to schedule their friendships? But the truth is, if I don’t, it just doesn’t happen. And these friendships are too precious to lose to busyness.

It’s funny — we schedule oil changes, parent-teacher conferences, and dentist appointments because they matter. But the people who make us laugh until our stomachs hurt? The ones who remind us who we are underneath the mom titles and work stress? They matter too. Maybe even more. So I’m done waiting for “soon.” I’m penciling in connection. Because friendship doesn’t just happen by accident anymore — it has to be chosen, again and again.

Giving Myself Permission to Make It a Priority

For the longest time, I treated friendship like a bonus. Something I’d get to once everything else was done. You know, after the laundry was folded, the inbox was cleared, and the kids were asleep on time. Which, let’s be honest, almost never happens. Somewhere along the way, I started believing that giving time to my friends was selfish. That it meant I was taking time away from my family, my to-do list, or my goals.

But recently, I’ve realized something that feels small but changes everything. Spending time with friends isn’t taking away from anything. It’s adding to me.

When I make time for real, face-to-face connection, I come home lighter. My brain feels less noisy. I’m more patient with my kids, kinder with my husband, and even a little more forgiving with myself. It’s like hitting a reset button I didn’t know I needed.

Because when you’re a mom, so much of your day is about meeting everyone else’s needs. Work needs your attention. Your kids need your energy. Your home needs your care. But friendship is something that fills you back up. It’s one of the few things in life that usually doesn’t ask for anything except your presence.

And I’ll admit, sometimes the hardest part is letting myself go without guilt. Saying yes to a girls’ night or even an afternoon walk used to come with this little voice whispering, You should be home getting things done. But then I remember that my kids don’t just need a mom who gets things done. They need a mom who laughs, who has friends, and who models what a healthy, happy adult life looks like.

So now, I’m learning to give myself permission. Permission to leave the dishes. Permission to take up space that isn’t just about productivity. Permission to call a friend and talk about absolutely nothing important. Because that’s the thing about friendship. It doesn’t always fix anything, but it makes everything feel a little more doable.

The Reminder That Keeps Me Grounded

Every time I see that little notification pop up on my phone that says “schedule time with friends,” I smile. It might seem like a small thing, but it reminds me of what truly matters. For a long time, I thought that needing a reminder to reach out meant I was failing at friendship. Now I see it differently. That reminder is a small act of intention. It means I’m choosing connection in a world that constantly pulls me in a hundred directions.

The truth is, this season of life is full. Work deadlines. Grocery runs. School activities. Bedtime routines that stretch a little too long. It’s easy to get lost in the cycle and forget that I need people too. That my own soul needs care and laughter and a place to belong. That’s why I keep that reminder in my phone and in my heart. It’s not just about scheduling something. It’s about remembering that I am more than what I do every day.

This season is busy and full and loud — but I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I’ve outgrown the people who helped shape me. So yes, I’m setting reminders, sending awkward “hey, want to hang out soon?” texts, and sometimes having to reschedule three times before it works out. But it’s worth it.

These friendships have seen me through every version of myself. The confident one, the tired one, the messy and overwhelmed one. They are the steady reminders that I’m not alone in this season. And that’s what keeps me grounded.

So yes, I will keep the reminder on my phone. I will keep showing up in the ways I can, because friendship, even when it’s squeezed into the margins of mom life, is still one of the best parts of it.

Your turn:
Do you find it hard to make time for friends these days? What helps you stay connected in the middle of all the busyness?